


The Call

by serenityabrin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sick Character, Star Wars Rare Pairs Exchange 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 17:56:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12822957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenityabrin/pseuds/serenityabrin
Summary: Kanan drags Rex along on a Jedi quest.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [armsofthestorm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/armsofthestorm/gifts).



"Rex?"

Pausing in the process of moving a box of ordinance, Rex looked up to see Kanan standing at the far end of the corridor, head cocked as if he was looking for Rex in the Force.

"Over here, Kanan," Rex said, setting the box down and moving to meet Kanan halfway.

As he did so, he took in the stiff lines of the Jedi.  Kanan's shoulders were tense, and his mouth was set in a firm line.  Rex was sure that if the top of Kanan's face wasn't obscured by his mask, Rex would see a deep furrow on his forehead.

It made him instantly alert.

"Something wrong?"

Coming to stand in front of him, Kanan said, "Maybe.  I'm headed out on a mission and I . . . I think I'll need backup."  His tone was uncomfortable and hesitant in a way that made Rex frown.

"You _think_ you'll need your backup?  Well, I'm happy to help.  What's the mission?"

His ready agreement only seemed to make Kanan more tense, rather than less as Rex had hoped.  "I can't tell you."

Surprised, Rex said, "You can't?"

Kanan rubbed the back of his neck, looking deeply uncomfortable.  His words were halting as he said, "This mission, it's not exactly . . . It doesn't have anything to do with the Rebellion.  It's . . ."

He paused in search of the word.  Rex's frown deepened as he waited.  His mind turned over what kind of mission Kanan could possibly have that was not Rebellion-related and only one thing came to him.

"Jedi business?" he supplied.

Kanan looked both relieved and even more ill at ease.  "Yeah.  You don't have to come if you don't want to but . . . I think I might need you on this one."

Kanan being willing to ask for help and on Jedi business no less set off alarm bells in Rex's head.  One look at Kanan's fists clenched at his side was enough to still Rex's questions though.  Neutrally, he repeated, "I'm happy to help.  What do you need?"

"It's time-sensitive, and we need to leave right away.  Sabine's getting the _Diplomat_ ready for us."

"The _Diplomat_?"  Rex couldn't keep his incredulity from his voice.  The _Diplomat_ was an ancient Eta-class Republic shuttle.  Sabine had been tinkering with it in her spare time but the thing was falling apart.  They'd found it in a salvage yard, practically picked clean.

"I know."  Kanan's tone was mostly chagrined now but there was an underlying urgency that was growing stronger as they spoke.  "It's the ship for the job though.  And, if things go badly, the Rebellion can afford to lose it."

"That doesn't sound ominous at all," Rex said, trying to keep his tone light in the hopes of relaxing Kanan even a little.

Again, his hopes were foiled as Kanan stiffened.  "You don't have to go.  You don't - No, perhaps I should go alone."

He turned to walk away, forcing Rex to jump to grab his arm.  "Wait, no.  It's fine.  I'm sure Sabine's got it working well enough for whatever you need.  I'm on board with you."

He squeezed Kanan's arm gently, wanting to reassure him.  Beneath his hand, Kanan could have been carved from stone, and Rex was beginning to worry.

For a long moment, Kanan remained still and quiet.  It wasn't a normal quiet either.  It was a Jedi-quiet, the kind that made the hairs on the back of Rex's neck stand up and his stomach clench in fear.  He knew not to say anything.  He'd learned that lesson the hard way with Skywalker back in the Clone Wars.

The tension eased with a suddenness that left Rex unbalanced.  Kanan's shoulders slumped and the arm in Rex's hold was once again pliable flesh.

"Okay."  Kanan's tone suggested it was anything but okay but Rex doubted it had anything to do with him.  "You need to bring a change of clothes, something that won't draw any notice."

"I can do that.  Anything else?"

Kanan hesitated but then shook his head.  "Whatever you can't be without."

That sounded even more ominous to Rex but this time he kept the observation to himself.  Realizing he was still holding Kanan's arm, Rex let go.

"I'll go get my spare rifle and a change of clothes then."  He had his blasters on him.  There wasn't much else he needed.  Whatever knick-knacks he'd picked up over the years were still with Wolffe and Gregor on Seelos.

Kanan nodded slightly.  There was something strange in his demeanor that made Rex hesitate in actually leaving him.  He almost feared that Kanan would change his mind and depart without him anyway.

Reminded of his words, Rex said, "Wait, you said you'd go alone.  Isn't Ezra coming too?"

Jedi business without one of the Jedi made the alarms in Rex's head blare like sirens, and he waited anxiously for word that Ezra was coming.

The shake of Kanan's head was subtle but alarming.  Softly, he said, "No, it's just us for this mission.  Just . . . just you and me."

Kanan abruptly turned on his heel and strode away, looking as close to running away as a dignified Jedi Master could manage.

Rex felt a chill in his bones, paralyzed for one moment as he felt a strong compulsion to chase down the Jedi and keep him in sight.

He shook it off, and hurried to get his rifle.

 

*****

 

The _Diplomat_ looked as dilapidated and useless as ever.  Paint chipped and one wing not quite fully folded up, Rex had the distinct impression that she was listing to one side.

As she came into view, Rex was grateful to see Kanan and Sabine on the ramp.  Rex let his gait slow slightly so he didn't look like he'd sprinted here in his worry to make sure Kanan didn't leave without him.

Even if that was closer to the truth than he'd ever admit.

Standing on the ground nearby were Hera and Ezra.  If Rex was hoping to have his worries eased by them, he was disappointed.  Hera's arms were folded over her chest, a worried frown on her face.  Ezra was also frowning, although he looked more confused.

Confused and unsettled.

That didn't bode well at all.

Coming to a stop at the bottom of the ramp, Rex was just in time to hear Sabine say, "I wouldn't push her too hard but she should hold together.  You know, provided you don't get into a firefight with Thrawn or try punching through a blockade."

Her tone had a curious quality to it, obviously trying to wheedle some information from Kanan.  Kanan only offered, "Thank you.  I'm sure it will be fine."

His tone was probably confident enough to anyone who didn't know him, but no one here could miss the uncertainty he was displaying.

"Are you sure you don't need me?" Ezra asked.  His eyes flickered to Rex.  "No offense to Rex, but another Jedi could be useful."

He wasn't nearly as subtle as Sabine in trying to wheedle information.  Rex realized that Ezra didn't know what this was about either, which furthered Rex's unease.  If the other Jedi didn't know, Rex wasn't sure what to make of this mission.

Kanan descended the ramp so he could reach out to put his hand on Ezra's shoulder.  "You are more than just useful, Ezra.  And, I know you would indeed be helpful on this mission.  I will always need you.  But . . ."  The pause hung in the air, making Rex's skin prickle.  "Your path is here.  I have to go.  You have to _let_ me go."

Ezra looked at Kanan with such big, earnest eyes, as if he could get Kanan to change his mind just by willing it.  Kanan patiently waited him out.

Eventually, Ezra's shoulders drooped and he nodded.  "Yes, Master."

That wasn't a title Rex heard Ezra use often, and he didn't like the way Ezra whispered it now.

Kanan looked like he wanted to say something but in the end no words came.  He squeezed Ezra's shoulder and then let him go.

Turning to Hera, there was a wealth of silent conversation in the air that left an electric charge humming around them.

Unfolding her arms, Hera said, "Be safe."

Kanan tried for his easygoing roguish grin.  "I always am.  Don't worry.  Rex will look after me."

Rather than be charmed, Hera's expression turned sad.  "Let us know when you're coming h-" She stopped, grimacing to herself, and amended, "when the mission is over."

"I will."  Kanan's tone was soft, and Rex swore he heard the lie in there.

From Hera's expression, he was sure she heard it too but she seemed to be expecting it.  There was a sad inevitability in her expression that Rex knew too well but didn't want to touch.

He averted his gaze, knowing peripherally about the hug Kanan and Hera shared, but not watching it.

Sabine hugged Kanan too.  She gave him a long look before she did it, searching for what from him Rex couldn't say.  But, in the end, she apparently had no words.  Their hug was longer than the one Hera had but then Rex didn't think Sabine was as ready to let go as Hera was.

Perhaps she didn't know how.

When they finally parted and Kanan moved into the ship, Rex started to follow.  He was surprised when a tiny hand on his arm stopped him.  Not having seen Hera move, he was startled to find her right beside him.

"You'll take care of him?" she whispered.

Rex offered her what he hoped was a reassuring smile.  "Of course.  You don't need to ask that."

"No."  Her smile was sad but strong.  "You don't need to hear it but I do need to say it."

_For her own peace of mind_. 

Rex's smile softened.  "I understand."  He took the hand she had on his arm and gently squeezed her fingers.  "I promise to take care of him."

Maybe he needed to say the words as much as she needed to hear them.

Her smile turned wistful as she nodded in acceptance of his promise.  "Take care of yourself too, Captain."

"I always do, Captain."

Finally, the light of humor returned to her eyes.  It was faint but it was enough so that Rex felt better about leaving her there and getting on the ship.

Already seated in the cockpit, Kanan's hands on the steering controls were clenched white.  He said nothing as Rex settled into the seat beside him.

"I think we're ready," Rex said, although it was more question than statement since he had no idea what this mission really needed to be ready.

Kanan nodded, unpeeling one of his hands so he could reach for the ignition.  Looking at the displays that were lighting up, Rex was surprised to see nothing was listed in the navigation.  He'd thought for sure Chopper or Sabine would enter the information for him.

Was this mission really so secret?

Rex waited until they were clear from Atollon's atmosphere before speaking.  Picking his words carefully, he said as neutrally as possible, "Now that I've agreed to the mission, can you tell me where we're going?"

Kanan's jaw clenched but there was no other physical sign from him for Rex to read.  "I can't say specifically but . . ."

He paused, head cocking to the side as if something just occurred to him.  "You know deserts, don't you, Captain?"

"Deserts?" Rex couldn't hide his surprise.  "What about them?"

"You know what it takes to survive in one, what kind of equipment we'd need."  Kanan's hands hovered over the controls, and Rex watched with fascination as the coordinates seemed to enter themselves into the computer right before they entered hyperspace.

Rex wasn't sure Kanan's concentration was anywhere near the conversation they were having but he replied anyway.  "Sure.  I've been in lots of deserts.  What kind of conditions are we talking?"

Kanan's mouth flattened slightly, another tell that made Rex think he was frowning behind his mask.  "I'm not sure.  There's got to be some standard equipment for living in the desert, right?"

"Living?" Rex couldn't hide his surprise.  "Or surviving?  There are some general basics, yeah, but there's a wealth of difference between those two.  Can we bring enough rations to last the mission or do we need to hunt our own food?  Same with water.  Year-round conditions can vary drastically.  Short-term missions can rely on seasonal tents but long-term, you'd need a much sturdier dwelling.  Are there caves where we're going?  Is it rocky or sandy?  Cold or hot?  Are there civilizations we can trade with or is it completely off the map?  Not to mention the kind of equipment we'll need for the mission itself.  Is it likely to get clogged with sand?  Do we need spare parts?"

Rex was ticking things off on his fingers as he rattled off all the logistics that immediately sprang to mind.  He certainly had a wealth of experience with deserts, and he could see why Kanan would bring him along if that was what he needed from Rex.  Rex was happy to offer his knowledge, thinking of all the desert-related headaches he'd weathered on Seelos, Geonosis, Ryloth, and the like.

He was warming to the conversation, so he nearly jumped when Kanan snapped, "I don't know!"

Looking over at the Jedi, he saw Kanan once again a solid line of tension.  But, it was only a moment before Kanan seemed to deflate.  Quieter, he repeated, "I don't know.  It . . . I just saw a desert . . . a sandstorm, maybe."

Halted mid-thought, Rex was silent as he looked at Kanan.  Jedi business.  This mission was based off a vision of some sort?  Rex wanted to ask but from the way Kanan was acting, he was sure that wasn't going to do anything other than making Kanan more tense and possibly shutting him down completely.

Instead, Rex cautiously said, "Okay, a sandstorm.  I can work with that.  I . . . I'll make a couple lists of the kind of equipment we'd need . . ."

A thought occurred to him then.  He could make the lists but all their equipment and supplies were back on Atollon.  This would've been better to do back there before they left.

Perhaps anticipating his thoughts or reading his mind, Kanan said, "We're going somewhere first.  There's something else we need to get and you should have an opportunity to pick up some supplies there."  His mouth twisted then.  "At least, I think you will."

Everything about Kanan screamed discomfort, uncertainty, and trepidation to Rex.  Rex wanted to reach out to offer comfort and support but he could see Kanan wasn't in the right mindset to accept that.

It felt wrong, but Rex knew the best thing to do was to give Kanan some space and hope he would regain his equilibrium on his own.  "Okay.  I'll make a wish list and we'll grab whatever they have available where we're going.  I'll just . . . I'll see what kind of cargo room this thing has," he finished weakly.

Hesitantly getting out of his seat, Rex watched Kanan's reaction and saw how he relaxed at being given an out from the conversation.  Rex felt a bit discouraged but he was too old to take it personally.  Visions were more Ezra's domain so he could imagine this was something Kanan would need some time to process.

Rex glanced at the computer to see their destination was two days out, although he didn't recognize the region.

He might do a bit of poking around on the secondary relay in the back.

Feeling better to have something to occupy him for a bit, Rex left Kanan in peace.

 

*****

 

Two days later, Kanan had revealed nothing about their mission and Rex could find nothing in the computer.  To be fair, Rex hadn't asked for anything more.

Kanan had settled into a stalemate of his own.  Outwardly, he was clearly trying to project the Jedi calm he'd attained after he'd come to grips with his blindness, but Rex could see that calm was skin-deep.  If Rex had to guess, he'd say it was part uncertainty about the mission and part guilt for not telling Rex more.  Rex was willing to reassure him on both scores but he thought it best not to press.

They were coming upon their destination now, though, so it was time to break the silence.

"What is this place?" Rex asked.  They'd come out of hyperspace and made a direct line for a gas giant that was littered by asteroids and moons.  Rex was surprised that more of the debris hadn't settled into a ring or fallen into the planet yet.  He'd never seen anything quite like it.

"What is it?" Kanan asked.  As Rex explained what he saw, Kanan piloted them steadily towards a moon that looked like an asteroid but was registering as having a breathable atmosphere.

To Rex's surprise, the little asteroid-moon sparkled with the lights of civilization when they slid between it and the gas giant.  There hadn't been any sign of communications chatter or pings from warning markers or any of the other hallmarks that heralded a settled world.  Although, just as Rex thought that, all the instrumentation began to hiss and blink in distress.

"Is that the ship dying or is there interference?" Rex asked after trying briefly to fix whatever was wrong.

Kanan cocked his head.  "I think it's interference from the planet.  Why else build out here?  It's a good place to hide something since you can't see the city from the outside and it won't appear on any instrumentation."

Rex only just bit back a question on how Kanan knew about it then.  "Makes sense.  I wonder who made it and what they're hiding here.  We're really in the back-end of nowhere here."

"We're about to find out."  Kanan would say no more, so Rex's only option was to sit back and let the blind man fly them down onto the asteroid-moon.  He watched as Kanan took them down well away from the settlement and then carefully flew low in approach.  If there were sensors that the locals could get working, this vector should let them avoid being detected.

A group of buildings appeared in the distance near a mountain range.  As they got closer, it looked as if someone had flattened one side of the mountain to allow for the settlement's expansion.  Conveniently for Kanan and Rex, the flattening was not uniform.  Kanan directed them to a little gap in the mountain side that was just big enough to fit the _Diplomat_.  On the other side of the gap was the settlement proper.  They couldn't ask for a better or closer hiding spot.

"Nice," Rex said as Kanan shut the ship down.  Rex had been afraid the _Diplomat_ might not make the trip but so far it looked like Sabine's handiwork was living up to her reputation.  Only a few ominous noises, and only on the first day.

Rex didn't trust that kind of luck.

"Should I change now?" Rex asked as he followed Kanan in leaving the cockpit.

For a moment, it looked like Kanan had forgotten the change of clothes he'd asked Rex to bring.  When the memory came back, he said, "That's for later.  I . . . I don't think there will be any need for covert action here.  Hopefully, we can achieve our objectives through stealth."

"And what are our objectives?" Rex watched Kanan hit the release button that lowered the ramp.

"There's something I need to obtain here."  Kanan sounded uncomfortable again.  "But it will work better if I go get it on my own.  I need you to focus on grabbing whatever you can from your desert wish list."

"Wait." Rex grabbed Kanan's arm to make him stop.  "I'm going with you.  There's no way I'm letting you go alone into potentially hostile territory.  You don't know what to expect."  Kanan was clearly going on instinct, which Rex was fine with to a point.  They were passing that point now.  "Let me do recon.  Scout out the area to see what we're up against."

"No, Rex.  We can't afford to waste that kind of time, and that won't be necessary.  The Force will guide me," Kanan said.

"But-" Rex was prepared to argue with Kanan until he was blue in the face.  He wasn't about to lose another Jedi, and any mission that hinted at danger was one where he was going to put his foot down.  Clones shared their Jedi's danger.  That was the only acceptable way for Rex.

Grabbing the hand Rex had on his arm, Kanan said, "Please, Rex."  His tone was quiet and intense.  "I'm not sure of much but this path is clear to me.  I can see where to go but I can't make it plain to you.  You have to trust me.  Please."

Rex absolutely hated this but he couldn't argue with a tone like that.  Letting out an annoyed breath, he let go of Kanan and grudgingly said, "Fine."

Kanan relaxed visibly, offering a companionable squeeze to Rex's hand before also releasing him.  "It will be fine."

"Don't jinx it like that," Rex said under his breath.  He reached for his communicator, hoping to stay in contact at least, but he couldn't say he was surprised to see it wasn't working.  Doubtless the same interference that was messing with their on-board instrumentation.  "There has to be some kind of ground-based communications here to counter the gas giant's emissions."

"I think radio-silence is best for this.  Like I said, stealth.  We'll probably just trip a security measure if we go looking for anything," Kanan said, beginning to walk away from the ship.

Rex matched his strides.  "Well, you best be quick about your mission.  If you take too long, I _will_ come after you.  And, I'll trip as many security protocols as I have to."

"I wouldn't expect anything less," Kanan said calmly.  Now here and having Rex's buy-in to the plan, he seemed more at-ease than he'd been the whole mission so far.

"Yeah, well, don't do anything stupid."  It was a pointless thing to say but Rex felt helpless.  He hated when his Jedi had to leave him behind.  He thought he was done with that nonsense after the Clone Wars but then Malachor happened and he'd lost Ahsoka.  He couldn't help but worry.

Not wanting to think about that, he changed topics.  "So, I'm going shopping.  Any idea where I might want to start looking?"

Reaching the edge of the gap, Rex was startled by just how close they were to the nearest building.  It was a huge warehouse-type structure, the first in a line of them marching all the way to the tall buildings in the distance.  They were reassuringly dark, suggesting no one was around to have seen them park the _Diplomat_.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out.  Just get what you can and wait for me.  If we're going to have to make our way through the desert, I'd like to be prepared."

Rex could say the same thing about this whole mission but he held his tongue.  He wouldn't have had an opportunity to voice his complaint anyway as Kanan very abruptly stopped and Rex ran right into him.

Turning sharply, Kanan grabbed Rex's arm and said, "Medical equipment.  Get that too."

His voice had taken on a sudden urgency.  It was such a whiplash of emotion that Rex could barely follow along.  "Medical equipment?  What kind of medical equipment?  For us or someone else?  How many-"

Kanan was already shaking his head, the frustration evident in his whole body.  "Just get what you can find.  We . . . we need to be ready for the worst."

Before Rex could say anything - and he had quite a few choice words - Kanan let go just as abruptly as he'd grabbed Rex.  His urgency now turned to grim determination, and Rex could see him tunneling his focus to the mission at hand.  Turning swiftly, Kanan actually used Force speed to dash to the nearest building.  Rex was just processing Kanan's departure as he watched the Jedi already Force jumping to the roof and disappearing from sight.

Throwing his arms up in aggravation, Rex followed after at a more normal pace.  He let himself grumble about Jedi weirdness so as to distract himself from his worry.

But he couldn't help looking at where he'd last seen Kanan and feel ice growing in his gut.

 

*****

 

Sitting at the end of the _Diplomat's_ ramp, Rex was both bored and concerned.  His own job had been completed some time ago and Kanan still wasn't back yet.  Rex had already hacked into the local network for any sign of the Jedi or a break-in or anything, but there was nothing to find.

The Imperial outpost - as Rex had learned the settlement was - was just big enough to make it impractical for Rex to go looking for Kanan on foot.

But if Kanan took any longer getting back, Rex was going to do just that.

"Fuck it," Rex muttered under his breath, finally getting up.  He couldn't wait any longer.

And, of course, it was that moment that a shadow appeared around the gap in the mountain wall - a shadow that quickly turned into Kanan.

The Jedi wasted no time, bounding towards and then past Rex.  He was clutching a small case to his chest but was otherwise exactly as he'd been when he left.

"We're leaving now," Kanan said, already halfway into the ship.

Rex wheeled around to follow, rushing to the button to close the ramp.  "What happened?  Were you followed?"

He watched Kanan slide into the cockpit seat.  Rex had already turned the ship on and set a temporary destination one system over.  He wasn't sure where their ultimate destination was, but once Rex realized they were on a hidden Imperial outpost, he anticipated a quick getaway might be necessary.

Sliding into the other seat, Rex watched as Kanan immediately got the ship airborne.  "I don't think so but I don't want to wait to find out."

Despite his words and the urgency of his actions, Kanan's tone was calm.  Rex would say he appeared relax, except for the way he did everything one-handed.  He continued to clutch the case to his chest like it was a lifeline.

"I can take over if you want to stow that," Rex said, mostly out of curiosity to see what Kanan would do.  They were slipping away from the gas giant, and Rex noted the moment the instrumentation came back online.  There wasn't any sign of pursuit, but Rex very much agreed with the notion that it was better to be safe than sorry.

Kanan paused momentarily at Rex's words but it appeared he didn't seriously consider the option.  "That's not necessary." 

Still one-handed, he let go of the steering and let his hand float over the controls.  Again, Rex watched as new coordinates overrode the ones he'd already put in there.  Rex glanced at the instrumentation but there was still no sign of pursuit.  He figured Kanan could feel that in the Force, giving him the time to put in a final destination.

The moment the final coordinate was entered, the switch to enter hyperspace flipped down on its own and the _Diplomat_ slipped away from the gas giant with only a faint shudder.  Rex raised an eyebrow at the conspicuous use of the Force but said nothing of it.

Instead, he looked at the displays to see what their destination was.  "Tatooine?"

Kanan shifted his head so his ear was focused on Rex.  "Is that where we're heading?"

Considering Kanan was the one who had put the coordinates into the computer, Rex wondered if he realized how strange it was that he seemed surprised by the news.

"Looks like.  You were right about needing to prepare for a desert.  The computer says it's very sandy.  Fortunately, I hit pay-dirt," Rex said.

Kanan sounded surprised when he said, "You actually found something?"

Rex snorted.  "Well, yeah.  Isn't that what I was supposed to be doing?  Look for yourself."

He flung out his hand towards the back of the _Diplomat_ , which was stuffed with crates of supplies, bulky equipment, and large tanks of water and fuel.

Obviously, Kanan couldn't physically see any of this but Rex watched how he cocked his head to look with the Force.  His expression of surprise deepened.  "Wow.  Did you leave anything on the moon?"

Rex huffed.  "Funny.  You're the one who took forever.  I just . . . kept grabbing things until there wasn't any more room."

"So I see."  Kanan's tone was neutral and his mouth had flattened again in what Rex would call a thoughtful frown.

Rex wasn't sure what to make of that.  "Well, I managed to grab all the necessities and then some.  Got some primo medical supplies too.  Whatever you're expecting, we should be ready.  At least the elements shouldn't hamper us too much.  And-" Rex stood up and approached a stack of boxes wedged behind his seat. "Whatever I couldn't grab, we can buy."

He shoved open the top box and let his fingers trail over the little metal chips, making a distinctive clinking noise as they moved.

"Credits?" Kanan asked.

"Better.  Er, at least better if we're going to Tatooine.  Peggats!"  Rex again slid his fingers over the money.  "This is a small fortune.  There's enough to buy whatever we need."

Kanan stiffened.  "How did you know we'd need peggats and not credits?  Did you know we'd go to Tatooine?  Did you hear it too?"  His tone was sharp and accusatory. 

Rex blinked in surprise.  "'Hear it too'?  Hear what?  Kanan, I grabbed peggats because that's what was there."

The corners of Kanan's mouth turned down further, his arm tightening on the case he was still holding.  He looked away and did not say anything for a long moment.  Rex eyed the Jedi with concern.

Quietly, mostly to himself, Kanan repeated Rex's words. "'That's what was there'."  He turned his head slightly, his ear focused on the small cargo area behind the cockpit.  "All of this was there."

"Yeah, it was."  Not sure what was going on in the Jedi's head, Rex frowned.  "Kanan, don't you know what kind of base we were on?  Didn't you see any Imperials while you were grabbing that?"  He pointed to the case in Kanan's hold.

"I . . . Everything was quiet when I grabbed this.  I avoided anyone I came across," Kanan said.  "It was Imperial?"

Rex nodded.  "Yeah, the worst kind."  He couldn't keep the anger out of his voice.

Clearly picking up on that, Kanan sounded surprised. "Why?"

Looking back at the box of peggats, Rex made a face.  "This is a small fortune.  Just think what kind of ammunition the Rebellion could buy with it.  Wolffe and Gregor could probably get a whole new AT-TE to replace the old one.  And, I guarantee there was much more where this came from.  I only looked at the nearest warehouse but you could see the whole base was just one warehouse after another.  I doubt the Empire will even notice what we took."

Rex put the cover back on the box.  "Everything I found was perfectly usable.  Farming equipment with a few dents.  Survival gear that had never been opened before.  Field rations that were only a month past their expiration dates.  Brand new saline bags with complete field medical kits.  That base is where the Empire sends all the stuff that's not new enough or perfect enough or they ordered too much of or they confiscated."  He let his hand rest on the box of peggats.  "It's all left to rot away or be destroyed.  It's all one big waste."

It angered him because he knew so many people who were dying because of the Empire, and rather than donate the excess to all these needy people, the Empire had just sent it to grow dust in the middle of nowhere.  They'd gone to the expense of building a costly instillation to house their excesses rather than let anyone else benefit from it.

The whole time Rex had prowled through the warehouse and seen shelf after shelf of perfectly good material, he kept thinking about how much good the Rebellion could do with all this stuff - how much they needed this stuff.  There hadn't been ordinance but there had been fuel and parts for all kinds of machines that Rex knew Sabine could do wonders with.  There were stacks of dried food, the kind that would actually keep for years.  The Rebellion could use the food to feed its own members or gift it to all the planets the Empire kept trying to starve into submission.  The same with the perfectly functioning medical equipment and unopened surgical supplies.  Desperate communities could thrive with the stuff the Empire just let rust away.

It was infuriating.

Kanan cocked his head, appearing to study Rex in the Force.  After a moment, he stood up and walked to the doorway of the cockpit.  Rex watched him survey the cargo hold, then look down at the case still in his hands, and then again look out to the supplies Rex had gathered.

"What is it?" Rex asked.

Kanan cocked his head to focus his ear on Rex.  "This is . . . This is not what I expected."

"You didn't expect me to find the stuff you sent me to get?" Rex asked.  There was a part of him that wasn't surprised.  He'd had a feeling Kanan had given him busywork.  It made him a little testy but only because of all the trouble he'd spent wrangling the huge water cylinder into the _Diplomat_.  It would've been a million times easier with a Jedi's help.

"I didn't expect it to be like this," Kanan said quietly.  "It's everything.  Everything we need.  I expected . . ."

For a moment, he stood as if in a daze and Rex's worry returned.  With a shake of his head, the moment passed and Kanan seemed to force himself to focus.  "You said this wouldn't be missed?  We didn't have any pursuit?"

Seeing where his mind was going, Rex said, "The Rebellion could hit that place easy."

Kanan nodded.  "Make a report for Hera to launch an operation.  Let her know we're off to the real mission now but don't tell her where we're going."  Rex's arched an eyebrow at that, wondering what the 'real' mission was.

Looking down at the case, Kanan said, "How long until we reach Tatooine?"

Rex moved to the computer and punched a button to bring up the information.  "About a week."

"A week!" Kanan's alarm startled Rex.  "We don't have that kind of time.  We're needed there _now_.  We have to-"

"Kanan," Rex cut in, concerned by the Jedi's sudden distress.  "The _Diplomat_ is fortunate she hasn't fallen apart yet.  She doesn't have the engines for anything faster.  We're lucky it will only be a week."

His words were clearly not a comfort.  Kanan was once again a study of hard lines, his whole body tense and the air about him crestfallen.  Rex hated to see it.

"Hey, look, I'm sure it will be fine.  The Force sent you here, didn't it?  I'm sure we'll be in time for . . . whatever we're trying to do."  Rex winced at his own awkward words, feeling like it would've been better if he'd kept his mouth shut.

For a long moment, Kanan did not react.  The air felt heavy to Rex, that Jedi-quiet that made him anxious.

But, just as before, the tension popped when Kanan slumped suddenly.  He shifted his head to focus his ear on the cargo hold and then to Rex.  "You're right," he said with no conviction in his voice.  "We need to keep going."

Moving closer to his chair, Kanan took the case into both his hands and seemed to study it.  Rex was now wildly curious what was in it but he felt it better not to test Kanan's changeable mood.

Surprisingly, Kanan finally set the case down on his chair.  "I need to meditate," he said, turning his head slowly as he scanned the ship in the Force, doubtless looking for a space to do it.

Rex had left the area behind his chair clear.  There was only the little satchel Kanan had brought with him, and Kanan now set it aside so he could kneel down.

As he did so, he said, "Send the report to Hera."  He hesitated and then added, "I recorded a message for Zeb.  It's under his name in the computer.  Why don't you send that along too?"

"Sure, Kanan."

Rex tried for a light tone to hide his unease.  Zeb had been on a mission when they'd left, and Rex strongly suspected the communication Kanan had recorded was a farewell.  He was reminded of the way Kanan had parted with Hera, Ezra, and Sabine.  There had been something so final about it.

What was Kanan expecting?  He seemed to be surprising himself with this mission, which didn't bode well in Rex's experience.

Force-nonsense was above Rex's head, though, so he settled into his own chair to write up a report as bid.

At least that was something useful he could do.

 

*****

 

Rereading what he'd written, Rex double-checked that he'd provided all the relevant information clearly and concisely, but it was obvious he was just procrastinating.

He let out a quiet sigh, finding the recording Kanan had made for Zeb and transmitting both files to Rebel Command.  He then shut off their end of the communications so Hera and the others couldn't find them.

Sitting back in his chair, Rex glanced over at Kanan.

The Jedi hadn't moved a muscle.  He knelt in a corner, appearing at first blush to be completely immersed in meditation and untroubled by Rex's presence so close.

Seeing him like that, Rex was hit with a strong sense of déjà vu.  His mind took him back to the Clone Wars when he, General Skywalker, and General Kenobi had been on their way back to Coruscant.  The Republic had sent a ship about the size of the _Diplomat_ to pick them up from Onderon, and General Kenobi had taken the opportunity to meditate.

With Skywalker engrossed in a conversation with the pilot, Rex had slipped away too.  It was rare for Rex to have any stretch of time where he could just observe Obi-Wan without worrying others would catch him, and he'd taken that moment back then to look his fill.

Unlike Kanan, Obi-Wan meditated cross-legged.  He appeared more relaxed that Kanan ever managed to look, but then it was Rex's experience that Obi-Wan always looked as he wanted others to see him, not necessarily how he felt. 

At the time, Rex had felt he was memorizing every strand of hair on the General's head so that he would never forget the smallest detail.  The intervening years had put test to that theory but Rex could still remember the rhythmic breathing and peaceful expression on the Jedi's face.

Rex had no idea how long he stared like a love-struck fool.  It couldn't have been too long before Obi-Wan came out of his meditation.

Rex remembered that moment vividly.  It had been sudden.  The General's eyes had snapped open and focused immediately on him.  There had been something in his expression that had made Rex's heart skip a beat.  The air hung heavy with tension, and Rex was so sure that Obi-Wan was a breath away from saying something.  Rex still felt the promise of that moment and the crushing disappointment when Skywalker had appeared behind him only a second later.

Rex still wasn't sure if he was the one who had disturbed Obi-Wan's meditation or if it had been Skywalker but he would never forget the look on Obi-Wan's face when he looked at Rex.

It was one of thousand other moments with his long lost General that still haunted Rex to this day.  He'd never been brave enough to label the expression on the Jedi's face but Rex no longer hid from his own feelings.  Even now, almost two decades later, his stomach still tightened and his heart beat a little faster when he thought about that moment.

Rex shook his head at himself, glancing back at Kanan.  Whether it was Skywalker or himself, General Kenobi's meditation had been disrupted and Rex was mindful to keep a lid on his emotions lest he bother Kanan now.  Kanan was clearly struggling to find balance.  He'd been all over the map on this mission so far, and Rex hoped a thorough meditation might make him more forthcoming.

Turning his attention to the blue of hyperspace outside the window, Rex contemplated what to do with his time.  He sat quiet for a moment before his eyes drifted to the case on Kanan's seat.

Rex looked at the Jedi again before cautiously reaching over to grab it.  When Kanan did not appear to notice his actions, Rex pulled the hard case onto his lap.  Curious, he carefully unfastened the clasps to see what all the fuss was about.

The lid opened to reveal a padded interior with twelve tiny bottles in three neat rows.  Gingerly, Rex rotated one of the bottles to see the label.  He was not familiar with the name of the drug but that was clearly what it was.

Giving Kanan a startled glance, Rex turned each bottle to read the stickers.  He only recognized one of the drugs as a pain medication.  A quick check in the computer revealed an antiviral medicine and an antipyretic.  The others were not in the _Diplomat's_ limited database.

Carefully, he securely refastened the case and set it back down so he could consider the matter.

Every order Kanan had given Rex felt like an afterthought, which meant the real objective of their mission to the Imperial base was this medicine.  Someone on Tatooine must be sick.  Rex didn't know when exactly Kanan became aware of the situation but it could be as much as two weeks by the time they found whoever they needed to help.

Two weeks was a long time for any operation but especially a relief mission for an illness.  Unless there was other medicine or it was a slow-acting disease, they were going to be lucky to make it in time.

No wonder Kanan was tense.

Rex's heart went out to him.  He remembered missions like this during the Clone Wars where his brothers were pinned down, injured, dying, and in desperate need of supplies and support.  Having been on both sides of the equation, it always felt worse having everything his brothers needed but having to wait on politics or the limitations of transport or the vagaries of weather to bring much needed relief

Rex hated feeling like that, and he felt Kanan's helplessness begin to infect him too.

Needing to do something, he got up and quietly slipped past Kanan into the cargo hold to do some mission-prep.

As he sorted through the crates, Rex's thoughts centered on who exactly the medicine could be for.  As far as he knew, Kanan didn't know anyone on Tatooine.  The Jedi was clearly following a sign from the Force so it was possible not even Kanan knew who he was going to see.

Rex reasoned that if more than one or two people were ill, then Kanan would have grabbed more medicine.  He also reasoned that there was a better than average chance whoever they were going to see lived away from the cities and the help to be found there.  Rex decided they needed to be light and mobile, ready to move as soon as they got to the planet.  If someone was sick, it was vital to get emergency supplies to them as soon as possible.  Whether or not their presence would be needed for a lengthy period of time could be determined later, which meant all the heavier equipment could remain on the ship.

Rex focused on packing crates of different sizes to be ready to accommodate any kind of vehicle Kanan thought would work best for their needs.  He worked diligently for about an hour before there was literally nothing else for him to do.

Through the doorway, Rex could see that Kanan hadn't moved in all that time.  Normally, this wouldn't concern him.  Since becoming blind, Kanan had taken to slipping away more often, and Rex had frequently seen him kneeling at the edge of the base where it was quiet and he could meditate.  Jedi could do that for hours.

But, just like all those years ago with General Kenobi, Rex couldn't stop himself from taking an opportunity to really study Kanan.  It seemed an hour was not enough time to relax the Jedi.  His whole body was still rigid with tension.  The hands on his thighs were half curled into fists, and his mouth was set in a flat, unhappy line.

Eyes wandering up to the mask Kanan wore, Rex's focus fell on the Jaig Eyes so prominently displayed there, and he felt again the mix of emotions seeing Kanan wearing his symbol always filled him.

It wasn't really _his_ symbol.  There were other Clones who'd earned the mark during the war, of course, but Rex had spent the last twenty years bearing the mark as a badge of honor and a reminder of his past.  It was a part of him.  He'd taken to drawing the mark on everything he owned - from his footlocker to his favorite mug - and he hadn't stopped the practice when he'd joined the Rebellion.

Sabine had known that when she'd asked his permission to draw the symbol, but Rex didn't think she really understood the depth of meaning Jaig Eyes had for him or what she was asking when she suggested marking Kanan with Rex's symbol.

Rex was less sure he could say the same for Kanan.  There had been something about Kanan's reaction when Sabine had presented him with the mask and explained what she'd done that had made Rex think Kanan knew exactly what he was really agreeing to when he put the mask on.

And he'd done it anyway.

To Rex, it was as if Kanan was proclaiming to everyone that he belonged to Rex.  It was a ludicrous thing to think but Rex couldn't shake the idea.  He didn't know if it was because Kanan was giving him signals or if it was just his own desires coloring his perception.

He just knew that once Kanan began to wear Jaig Eyes, Rex could no longer ignore his feelings for the Jedi.

There hadn't been a moment before now to explore if his feelings might be reciprocated - if he was right in reading Kanan - but Rex realized the opportunity he had here.

He waffled for a moment.  Nothing had changed with regards to Kanan's need to meditate or Rex's desire for him to find some balance about this mission.  Seeing Kanan so tense, Rex decided to take a chance anyway.

He hadn't earned his own Jaig Eyes for being timid after all.

Decision made, Rex quietly approached Kanan and knelt down in front of him.  He tried to do so quietly but his knees did creak on the way down.

"Was there something you needed?" Kanan's tone was neutral.

Unsure if the Jedi was annoyed or not, Rex matched his tone.  "Correct me if I'm wrong, but it doesn't seem like you're having much luck on the meditation-front."

There was a moment's hesitation before Kanan said, "And if I'm not?"

Relieved, Rex relaxed into the conversation.  "In that case, I thought perhaps a distraction might be welcome."

"A distraction?" Kanan's tone was wary but curious, also a good sign.

Gently, Rex reached out to take the mask from Kanan's face.  Kanan made no move to stop him, and Rex sat back, pleased to finally be able to read Kanan's full expression.  He had a feeling he would need every advantage he could get in this conversation.

"I've wanted to talk to you about something for quite awhile now but there hasn't been a good time," Rex said.

"Is _now_ a good time?" Kanan's eyebrow lifted slightly.

Rex stroked his beard as he seriously considered the question.  "I don't know if there's ever a good time, really.  Certainly not when we're focused on the Rebellion.  We can be alone together but the needs of the mission always take priority."

"I don't see how that's different now," Kanan said softly.

"Don't you?" If Kanan wanted to play it that way, Rex would follow his lead but it would feel like an excuse to him.

A guilty look flashed over Kanan's face before he turned his head away slightly.  "Okay.  You may have a point.  What . . . what did you want to talk about?"

Rex noted his hesitation and the quiet way he tensed as if preparing for a fight.  It was hard to see, and Rex had a moment's doubt.

But he was committed now.  Slowly, he reached out.  Kanan did not flinch when Rex gently cupped his face, and for a long moment neither man did anything more.

This time when the tension dispersed, it was a quiet release.  The hard line of Kanan's shoulders relaxed and he leaned into the contact.  Rex let his thumb trace over the skin right along the line of Kanan's beard but otherwise held the tableau.

"This isn't a revelation, is it?" Rex asked quietly.

"No."

Nodding to himself, Rex focused on having Kanan close.  He wasn't sure how this conversation would go but he knew that by the end either his hopes or his fears would be laid to rest.  He had this moment where he still existed in the twilight between extremes and he did not rush himself out of it.

"You're less transparent," he finally said.

Kanan snorted.  "Not so much that you didn't bring it up."

Shaking his head, Rex said, "I want the air cleared but I don't know the outcome.  And . . . you've been hard to read since you came back from Malachor."

He kept his tone gentle but he wasn't surprised when Kanan turned his head away and broke the contact between them.  Rex let his hand fall down to his lap and clarified, "I don't mean because of your blindness."

"I know." Kanan's tone was also quiet.  He seemed to need a moment to collect his thoughts, and Rex let him.  "I had to relearn to see using the Force.  To do that, I needed to know myself.  I took a hard look at myself, and I didn't like everything that was revealed."

"But you've made peace with it?" This was mostly a guess.  Kanan had been cut off for the first few months after Malachor but when he returned after Ezra's failed mission to Yarma, he had been calmer.  He wasn't who he'd been but he seemed to have found a balance that Rex associated with Jedi Masters like Plo Koon.

Kanan cocked his head, considering Rex's remark.  "I suppose so.  More peace than I had before, at least."

"And what did you discover when you looked at yourself?" Rex was hesitant, unsure if this was the question to ask.

Kanan was silent for long enough that Rex considered retracting the question.  "Jedi are forbidden to form attachments but . . . I don't think I can live like that.  Survive, maybe, but not live.  After the fall of the Jedi, I lost my way.  I closed myself off from the Force.  Joining up with Hera and now the Rebellion, I feel that I have found my purpose.  In training Ezra, I have re-embraced the Force.  I have again walked the path of the Jedi, and there is a rightness to it that has been soothing to my soul.  To give up such a basic tenant of the Order as to abandon attachments is no small thing."

Kanan frowned, turning his ear slightly to make Rex think he was focusing on the window.  "I am considering that though."

"Are you . . . are you considering that with me?" Rex asked quietly.

"I am."

Rex let out a slow breath, trying not to get ahead of himself.  There was something he had to know first.  "And did you feel this way before Malachor?"  Kanan's frown deepened so Rex clarified, "Can you only go forward now that you can't see a face that haunts you?"

Kanan drew back in surprise, his eyes wide with shock.  The moment passed, and a look too close to pity settled on his face.

Unexpectedly, he reached out and traced a finger over Rex's face, right over his eye.  "Grey had a scar right here.  You are not Grey."  Kanan gave a humorless snort.  "Grey wasn't even Grey."

Kanan looked suddenly so sad.  "I was never confused.  When we met, I was . . ."

"Hurting?"  That had been obvious to Rex right from the beginning.

Kanan nodded.  "I said I distrusted you because I thought you would betray us the way the other Clones did but the truth is . . . I held you at arm's length because I was scared to go through that pain again.  I was afraid I would like you as I did the men in my command and have it all ripped away again."

Kanan's words were no more than a whisper, the ancient pain palpable in the air of the shuttle.  Rex's heart went out to him.

"No one would fault you for feeling that way.  Certainly, I don't hold it against you.  I understand," he said.

Lifting his head, Kanan offered a small smile, the grief of earlier making it sad.  "That is exactly why I would choose you, Rex.  Why I _do_ choose you."

Rex smiled, finally allowing himself to relax.

Kanan did not follow suit.  His smile faded and a troubled look took up residence on his features.  Unsure what was bothering him, Rex asked, "What is it?"

"What is it _you_ seek?  Do you see me for me or . . . or am I substitute for the Jedi you really love?" Kanan asked quietly.

Rex reeled back, but the surprise was quick-lived.   It wasn't really surprising that Kanan had picked up on that.

Sighing, Rex said, "I can't pretend I don't still love him but . . . no one could be a replacement.  You don't need to worry about that."  He tried for a smile.  "You're a great Jedi but you're no Kenobi."

His weak attempt at a joke was met with an unexpected reaction.  Kanan froze completely, and he looked utterly shocked.  "K-Kenobi?  Not Skywalker?"

"Oh." Well, Rex could understand the misconception.  He chuckled.  "No, not Skywalker.  Don't get me wrong.  He was a great Jedi too.  One of the best any Clone could ever wish to serve under.  But . . . it was always General Kenobi."

His tone was reverent when he said the General's name, but Rex couldn't help that, and he realized it might indeed be unfair to Kanan.  Rex had never once confused the two but he couldn't deny he still felt just as strongly about Obi-Wan today as he did when the Clone Wars were still being waged.

For his part, Kanan remained motionless and Rex could not read his expression.  After a long moment, Kanan reached out to his satchel.  Rex watched him dig around until he pulled out a small holographic comm unit.

Holding it flat in his palm, he extended his hand so Rex could see.  There was a pronounced hesitation before Kanan hit the activation button.

" _This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi.  I regret to report that both our Jedi Order and the Republic have fallen_."

Rex's breath caught harshly in his throat.  His heart squeezed painfully in his chest and he couldn't tear his eyes away if Thrawn himself had a blaster to his head.

Obi-Wan continued speaking in a calm, measured tone of voice, and Rex hadn't realized how much he missed hearing his voice.  It was silly but Rex couldn't help reaching out, letting his fingers slip through the holographic projection as if it would allow him to touch the man.

This was a bittersweet torture.  Rex hadn't thought there was anything left of General Kenobi but faded wanted posters.  He'd spent so many nights yearning for just one more glimpse - one sign that his General was alive out there somewhere - and here was a reminder that despite the best efforts of the Empire to wipe him out of all history, Obi-Wan had existed.

But it didn't prepare Rex for the gut-punch of longing that washed through him.  The pain of loss had not dulled at all in the intervening years, and he missed Obi-Wan with a sharp intensity that cut him to the core.

When the recording ended, neither Kanan nor Rex moved.  The silence in the cockpit was oppressive and full.

"This used to be in the Holocron."  Kanan's tone was awkward.  "When I gave Ezra the Holocron, I made a copy.  It was the one thing - the _only_ thing - that I would be crushed if I lost.  So, um, I understand how you feel."

Rex could only stare at Kanan.  "You knew the General too?"

Kanan looked down and traced the comm unit in his hand with his thumb.  "A little.  My Master and he were both on the Council.  There were occasions when he needed to speak to her, and I was there.  Even before that, he would sometimes lead classes for initiates.  I don't know if he would remember me but . . . he was very memorable."

Chuckling sadly, Rex said, "I can imagine."  He remembered his General so vividly, and Rex found it harder to believe that someone wouldn't be drawn to him than that they would.

Perhaps Kanan did understand Rex after all.  At the very least, Rex owed him his honesty.

"I fell in love with the General during the Clone Wars, and I have never fallen out of love.  I can't pretend I don't feel what I feel.  I know that's not fair to you.  But . . . I'm not interested in you because of him."

Rex rubbed the back of his neck, feeling uncomfortable.  "I will admit that sometimes things you do remind me of him.  But, anything can remind me of him.  He is often on my mind.  That's unlikely to change.  I'm not surprised that you noticed that."

Reaching out, Rex enfolded Kanan's hand between his own, the comm unit pressed between them.  "I see you for you.  I do.  I'm not trying to replace the General in my heart because no one could do that.  But he's gone.  He's gone and I'm still here.  I didn't think I'd ever find anyone I could care for as much as I cared about him, but I find that I do feel that way about you."

Rex swallowed.  "Even though it's not fair, I would very much like to be able to call you mine."

Kanan did not reply right away, and it appeared his attention was focused inward.

"He's gone," he whispered, repeating Rex's words.  He looked away, and Rex could feel the shiver that passed through him.

Rex tried to wait patiently, but it was difficult when he'd opened his heart and he didn't know what the answer would be.

Finally, Kanan sighed and turned his attention back to him.  "I want what you want.  I was on my own for so long, refusing to rely on anyone else.  Now that I've found the Rebellion, I realize how wearing that was on my soul.  I don't want to live like that again."

He shifted his hand in Rex's grip.  Reluctantly, Rex let him go.  Kanan brought the comm unit close to him and seemed to study it.

"I would be happy to be yours." Kanan's words were sad as he reverently put the comm unit back in his satchel. "But I cannot commit to you just yet.  This mission may take me away.  Or maybe it will take you away.  I cannot see the outcome.  I can promise that if we complete the mission and return to the Rebellion, you can have the relationship you want with me."

"And if that doesn't happen?" Rex asked.

Kanan frowned.  "That is less clear to me.  What I see in the Force is clouded.  I cannot tell if it's what will happen or if it is merely what I _wish_ to happen.  There is a choice before me, and I'm not sure I can choose you if it comes to that."

His tone was grieved, making it obvious to Rex that such a choice would wound him deeply.

Rex set aside his own desires out of concern for Kanan.  The Jedi looked lost.  "Can you tell me what this mission is?"

Kanan's shoulders hunched inward.  "I'm afraid to."

That was not the answer Rex expected.  "You are?  Why?  What did the vision show you?"

"It wasn't a vision," Kanan said.  "It was more of a call.  I have never experienced anything like it, and I'm not sure how much to trust it.  I was told what to do.  I was shown a glimpse of the problem - just enough to motivate me to action - but not enough to be certain I'm doing the right thing."

Kanan sighed.  "I'm sorry.  I know I've been unreasonable since this started.  You deserve to know.  It's just . . ."

He sounded so guilty.  Rex said, "Well, it would be nice to know what's going on but it's not the first mission I've undertaken on a need-to-know basis.  I only really mind it if we're going to go into danger and I can't prepare for that."

"If there is danger, I will be just as surprised as you are," Kanan said.  "I didn't see anything like that."

"Then you don't need to tell me anything else," Rex said.

"That's unfair to you.  Indeed, more unfair than you know." Kanan sounded troubled.

Rex shrugged.  "I'd like to know, of course, but if it upsets you like this, I can deal with not knowing.  I trust you."

Kanan was quiet again, his troubled frown deepening.  Rex could see his words had not comforted the Jedi at all.

After a long moment, Kanan sighed.  "You trust me.  I suppose that's the issue.  I don't trust myself right now.  I have the flimsiest of evidence for this mission and I am risking us both to do it.  I'm not sure if it's the Force that calls me but if it's something else . . ."

Kanan cocked his head in the direction of the cargo hold.  "I didn't expect anything when we began this mission.  I was mostly convinced that there was nothing really there, and we'd return having wasted our time.  But with every step of the way, the Force pulses with approval.  Everything you've found is everything we need.  I know it.  So, I am beginning to think that if the call I heard was not from the Force, it was at least in line with it.  And that terrifies me."

Rex could see it more clearly now.  Kanan looked pale in the harsh lighting of the ship, his hands curled into fists where they rested on his thighs.  Again, Rex asked why.

Taking a deep breath, Kanan said, "Because hoping hurts too much.  If we go to Tatooine and there's nothing there, the disappointment would be terrible.  But, worse, if we get there and we're too late?  I think that might shatter me into pieces."

He sounded a moment away from doing just that.  Concerned, Rex couldn't stop himself from reaching out to pull Kanan to him.  He wrapped his arms around him, trying to impart what comfort he could.

Kanan settled quickly enough, his Jedi discipline asserting itself.  But he did not make any move to leave the circle of Rex's arms.  Rex let himself enjoy holding the Jedi, still unsure if he would have this opportunity again.

"I don't want you to feel what I'm feeling," Kanan murmured into the skin of Rex's neck.  "It's one thing to face being too late when you didn't know you had a chance to do something about it.  It's another to wait in hopeful agony for a week and have the chance of getting everything you want brutally snatched away from you."

Rex pulled back so he could look at Kanan's face and gently said, "I don't need you to protect me."

Kanan sighed.  "I know."

He looked suddenly very tired.  Rex's protective streak clawed at him, and he decided whatever it was on Tatooine couldn't matter more than the Jedi in front of him.  "If you don't want to tell me, okay.  I'll find out in a week anyway.  There's nothing either of us can do until we get to Tatooine.  Not for the mission.  So, tell me what I _can_ do."

Kanan took a moment to think about that.  "You said you were offering a distraction."

Rex huffed a humorless laugh.  "Seems I did a terrible job of it."

"No, we did need to talk about this.  Maybe we still do but I . . ." Kanan sighed.  "I don't want to think about this any more now."

He let his head fall to rest on Rex's shoulder.  Rex considered what Kanan was wordlessly asking for.  Uncertain, he nonetheless reached out to slide his fingers along the shell of Kanan's ear.  He was emboldened when Kanan turned into his touch, and Rex reached back to undo the ponytail tie.

Once free, he ran his fingers through Kanan's soft hair before burying them deeply so he could tilt Kanan's head back and brush a kiss against his lips.  Kanan shifted to give better access, his own hand coming to rest on Rex's bicep.

The kiss was tentative, and Rex withdrew to see Kanan's reaction.  "Is this what you want?"

"Yes." The answer was immediate but Rex still heard the hesitation.

"But?"

Kanan shook his head.  "Everything can change when we get to Tatooine.  I can only promise you this week."

Rex considered his response seriously.  "I've had a long time to think about the choices I've made in my life.  A lot of time regretting the moments I let slip by me.  General Kenobi was right in front of me but nothing ever happened.  It wasn't the right time.  It never was.  And then he was gone."

There was always a part of Rex that had hoped his General had survived somewhere and maybe someday they would reunite.  As the years passed, the reality of the situation eroded his hope.  None of the Jedi survived, and Rex had to accept that he would never see him again.

But a part of him never stopped hoping that Obi-Wan escaped.

"If a week is all there is, it's a week more than I would have had otherwise.  It is enough," Rex said.

Kanan studied Rex for a moment, and then shifted so he could wrap an arm around Rex's neck.  "Alright.  Then distract me."

He kissed Rex with confidence, and Rex pulled him close.  If Kanan wanted to be distracted, Rex was happy to oblige.


	2. Chapter 2

"Kanan, we have to stop." Rex had to yell to be heard over the sandstorm raging around them.

"No!  There's no time.  He needs us now," Kanan insisted.  He held on tighter to Rex's middle, turning his head into Rex's neck to keep the worst of the sand out of his nose and mouth.

Trying a different tactic, Rex said, "Is it close?  Can we reach it in the next hour?"

Kanan's silence was telling.  Rex slapped the display on the speeder bike's controls to hopefully clear the static caused by the storm.  In between the static lines, Rex could just make out the map.  He saw a rocky outcropping to the left and he turned to it.

"Rex!" Kanan shouted.

"I'm sorry, Kanan." Rex meant that.  He understood the urgency.  "But we're not going to be able to help anyone if the bike dies on us or if we're sandblasted to death.  We need to get out of this."

Pressed so close to Rex's back, Rex could feel how Kanan sagged.  Rex took one hand off the wheel to gently squeeze the arm wrapped tightly around his middle, but that was all the comfort he could provide.

Fortunately, Kanan was able to direct them to a cave that was big enough to stow the speeder bike and get out of the storm.

Rex pulled off his stolen bounty hunter helmet, and frowned at it.  Turning it upside down and shaking it, he grumbled to himself about cheap material.  His Republic issue helmet would never have let so much sand in.

There was no response to his grousing, and Rex looked up to see Kanan by the entrance, looking out into the whipping wind and dirt of the storm.

Letting his helmet fall, Rex slowly approached him.  "I am sorry, Kanan."

Kanan sighed.  "I know.  I just . . . Time is slipping away.  We can't afford to stop."

"Well, we can't go forward in this either.  As soon as the storm lets up, we'll push on."

Kanan didn't say anything but then Rex didn't really expect him to.  The Jedi had calmed down a bit on the way to Tatooine but as soon as they'd made landfall, his agitation had returned.  Rex could see that only finding the sick person the medicine was for was going to pacify him - a person Rex still didn't know the identity of.

Rather than worry about that or about Kanan, Rex made himself useful by checking over the bike and the cargo it was hauling.  Taking the lamp off the front of the bike so he could see, he was relieved to find the crate of supplies was still tightly sealed.  However, he could see the hover-pad they'd secured the crate to was only at a quarter power.  Three of the five thrusters were clogged with sand, and Rex spent some time trying to clear them out.  He could only get two working again.

The bike was much in the same state.  Sand had gotten into the controls, and Rex had to strip the front of the bike to fix the damage.

It was good they stopped when they did.

While he worked, Kanan finally tore himself away from the entrance.  He opened the seat of the bike where there rations were located.

"Looks like the old merchant was right about this winter," Kanan said, coming to sit near Rex while he prepared their dinner.

"Old merchants usually are." Rex scooted closer to him in the hopes of leaching a little of his warmth.  The storm had hastened the drop in temperature, and Rex's sweat-soaked shirt was rapidly cooling against his skin.

"I didn't know it could get so cold on a desert planet," Kanan said.

Popping off a gear to blow out the sand, Rex said, "Yeah, winters can be brutal.  It's still mercilessly hot during the day so the freezing temperatures can really sneak up on the unwary."

"We should have brought blankets," Kanan said.  That was something Rex agreed with.  There hadn't been any kind of blanket or jackets in the supplies he'd found at the Imperial outpost, and they'd been in such a rush to get moving when they got to Tatooine that blankets had slipped their minds.

Rex paused in his work long enough to eat the protein bar Kanan gave him and to drink his ration of water.  "You want to inflate the portable mattress?"

Kanan shook his head.  "I don't want to unseal the crate.  Besides, I hope this storm won't last too long."

Turning back to his work, Rex privately thought that was unlikely.  The merchant had informed them to watch out for the winter storms.  He had predicted a bad season this year, and Rex knew from his own experience on Seelos what a bad winter on a desert world looked like.

There was silence while Rex completed the repairs on the bike.  When he put the cover back on, he said, "Well, that's as much as I can do here.  It should be okay if the weather clears but it wasn't designed for sandstorms.  The undercarriage's coating has been scoured away."

Kanan nodded but otherwise his reaction was hard to read.  Since Kanan had returned to looking at the storm outside the cave, Rex moved to stand beside him.  He wrapped an arm around Kanan's shoulders and wordlessly invited the Jedi to lean against him.

"We'll make it in time."

"You don't know that." Kanan's voice was flat.

"Maybe not, but you don't know that we won't.  There's nothing we can do about the weather.  We would have had to stop anyway.  We've been traveling for a day and a half without any rest.  We won't do any good if we're dead on our feet," Rex said.

Kanan was still tense under Rex's hands.  "Get some sleep then.  I will wake you when the storm lets up."

"I meant that about you." Rex rubbed Kanan's arm, trying to sooth him.

"I know." Kanan reached up to remove his mask, and then pressed a chaste kiss to Rex's kips.  "But it's useless.  I won't be able to sleep, not when we're so close."

"Kanan-"

"I'll be fine.  Really, go to sleep.  You are right.  One of us should be rested.  I want to meditate and see if I can't get more clarity on where we're supposed to go." Kanan's tone was gentle, but Rex could practically feel the agitation surrounding him.

Rex knew enough about Jedi stubbornness to know there was no winning this battle.  Reluctantly, he gave Kanan a kiss and nodded.  "Alright.  But don't stare all night.  You should at least try to get some rest."

While Rex reclined on the hard rock floor, Kanan knelt in his favored meditative pose.  Rex tried to settle his mind, but Kanan's worry was infecting him.  He could hear the wind howling outside, and there were stones digging into his back.  A shiver ran up his arms, and he could feel the cold beginning to seep into him. 

More shivers followed, and he clenched his jaw tight to keep his teeth from chattering.

He had no idea how long he lay there before he was startled by the touch of a hand on his shoulder.  "It's just me," Kanan whispered as he settled down behind Rex.  Using his taller frame, he wrapped himself around Rex.

The temperature continued to drop in the cave but Kanan's body heat helped a little.  Still uneasy, Rex nonetheless forced himself to fall asleep.

 

*****

 

The sun was just beginning to rise when the storm finally let up.  Rex hopped on the bike and waited for Kanan to get on behind him.  When Kanan put his arms around Rex's middle again, Rex gently tugged at one to encourage Kanan to hold on tighter.  Maybe part of that was to make sure Kanan had a good grip but it was mostly because Rex liked having Kanan so close.

That remained true even hours later when the sun beat down on them mercilessly and Rex's back was itchy with sweat.  The extremes of winter were brutal on a body, but Rex's discipline allowed him to weather it without stopping.

They raced along the flat landscape for hours without a break.  Rex was sore, hungry, and tired but it wasn't until he saw another storm on the horizon that he suggested they stop.

"We can't stop," Kanan said.  Before Rex could argue, Kanan anticipated him.  "We're close now.  I can feel it.  It's somewhere nearby."

"Where?"

Kanan shifted his head around, clearly looking in the Force.  "It's somewhere that way." He pointed towards a rockier area.  Rex couldn't imagine anyone living somewhere like that but he thought the likelihood of finding another cave they could shelter in might be higher there, so he turned the speeder in the direction Kanan pointed.

Night was just beginning and the wind was beginning to pick up when the little dwelling finally came into view.  Rex turned on the lamp but it was hard to find the path up to the house.

"Hurry, Rex," Kanan muttered under his breath.  He was a line of tension along Rex's back, but Rex didn't let that affect him.  They were going along at a good clip.  Any faster and they risked an accident.  It wouldn't be long now anyway.

Kanan made no actual move to force Rex to increase his speed but as soon as the house was within Jedi-jumping distance, he was off the bike and rushing to the door.  Rex skidded to a halt and grabbed the lamp, immediately bounding after Kanan.  This mission had him on edge, and he still wasn't sold on their safety.  He didn't want Kanan rushing into anything when his head was clearly distracted with worry.

Indeed, Kanan's worry was already working against him.  The door was locked.  It was a simple trick for a Jedi to use the Force to unlock it but Kanan had to visibly rein himself in so he could calm down and do that.  That extra moment meant Rex wasn't too far behind him.

Kanan rushed in the moment the door opened.  "Master!"

Following a bit more cautiously, Rex found it difficult to see in the dim interior.  He could make our Kanan kneeling and he swung the lamp in that direction to see what was going on.

At first, Rex didn't recognize the man lying in the recessed alcove.  He was tangled in a thin blanket, his white hair the only thing visible.  As Rex came to stand behind Kanan, the Jedi reached out to pull the blanket away and Rex felt his whole body freeze in shock.

Older than he remembered, face haggard with illness, there was still no mistaking Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Master?" Kanan's tone was fearful as he reached out to touch Obi-Wan's forehead and stroke away the strands of hair plastered to his brow.

For a moment, a gleam reflected from Obi-Wan's eyes as he cracked them open partially.  But whether he recognized them - or indeed whether he even saw them - was debatable.  His eyes closed, and he was unresponsive to Kanan's touch.

"General?" Rex wasn't aware of speaking or moving but suddenly he was reaching out to touch Obi-Wan's hair.

The soft texture brought home to him that this was real.  "The General's alive?" Even as he said it, he realized that this was what Kanan had seen.  "It was General Kenobi, and you didn't tell me!"

"He's burning up, Rex" Kanan said.  His fingers moved from Obi-Wan's forehead to his cheeks and then he grabbed the one hand of Obi-Wan's that had escaped the blanket and rubbed it between his own hands.  "The rest of him is beginning to chill though.  Why isn't it warm in here?"

Rex's own hand moved to Obi-Wan's forehead and he could feel the warmth there.  He could also feel the shivers that were passing through him.

Forcing himself to move away was an act of the greatest will power but Rex could see how precarious Obi-Wan's situation was.  He finally withdrew and looked around, taking in what Kanan had said.  Why wasn't it warm in here?  Why was it so dark?

He set the lamp down on a nearby table and hunted for a light switch.  When he found it, the lights did not turn on.  Similarly, the heater in the wall remained stubbornly cold when he investigated it.  Opening it up showed nothing wrong with it.

"The power's gone out," Rex said, as that was the most likely explanation.  "I'll see if I can find the generator and get it going."

Kanan wasn't paying him any attention.  He was again pressing a hand to Kenobi's brow, and he seemed to be in a Force trance.

Despite his words, Rex found he couldn't leave.  There was his General.  Sick, but alive.  Rex couldn't believe it, and his feet refused to move from that spot, afraid that he would blink and it would prove to be a dream.

"He needs medicine." Kanan finally withdrew, sitting back on his heels.  "I can't stop the spread of the illness.  It's . . . It's not as far along as I expected."

Rex brightened.  "Then we're just in time."

"Yes." Kanan still sounded like he was frowning.  "But I saw . . ."

Coming back to Kanan's side, Rex squeezed the back of his neck supportively.  "You saw what you needed to see to make sure we were here to help.  The Force has provided everything we needed so far.  It wouldn't do that just so we're in time to watch the General die."

Rex had to believe that.  Looking at Obi-Wan, Rex was concerned with how little he'd moved.  He wasn't one to baby an illness, and their presence must surely rouse him.  That it hadn't worried Rex but he couldn't focus on that.  He needed something to do.

"Okay," Kanan said, giving himself a little shock.  "Medicine.  I'll bring in the supplies and get him settled.  You find out about the power."

Rex still didn't want to go but he forced himself to.  Reaching for the lamp, he hesitated.  Kanan was levering himself to his feet, also looking reluctant to leave his Master's side.  He did notice Rex's hesitation, though, and snorted.

"I'm blind, Rex.  I don't need the light."

"Right," Rex muttered, feeling like a foolish Shinie again.  He grabbed the lamp and turned to look for the generator.

By the time he returned, Kanan had the supplies lined up against the wall, the shutters fastened on the windows, and Obi-Wan settled on his back.  An IV drip was attached to his arm, and Kanan was in the process of administering drugs through the line.

Rex waited for him to finish, not wanting him to be distracted during something so important.  But as soon as Kanan sat back, Rex said, "The generator's fried.  I think there was a power surge.  The unit might be salvageable but I don't see any parts here that we can use.  Without that, there's not going to be any power."

The wind outside whipped angrily against the little house.  "I sense a stove over there," Kanan said.

Sighing, Rex replied, "I think that was actually what caused the power surge.  There's the remains of a meal there.  It looks like the General was making himself some soup.  His illness must have knocked him on his ass faster than he anticipated and he forgot about it.  Something went wrong.  I can see scorch marks in the wall that follow the wiring down to the cellar and the generator."

Kanan cocked his head so that his ear was directed towards the stove.  "I don't sense any fire in the walls.  It must've been a flash ignition."

"Well, whatever it was, the generator and the stove aren't working.  It's going to be freezing in here soon," Rex said.

Kanan frowned.  "Did you come across any blankets or anything like that while you were looking for the generator?"

Disliking this line of questioning, Rex said, "There was a rug on the floor downstairs and his cloak on the hook.  There's nothing here?"

"Not really.  I suppose cold nights aren't as usual as hot ones here."  Kanan reached out to stroke Obi-Wan's brow.  "The shutters can keep out the sand but they're not going to do anything against the cold.  He's already shivering.  We need to do something."

"Can he be moved?" Rex asked.  Before Kanan could answer, he continued, "I can blow up the mattress.  It will be tight but the three of us can fit on it.  If we put him between us-"

"We can share our body warmth," Kanan finished for him.  "That will have to be good enough."

Kanan moved everything that wasn't nailed down so that there was space for the mattress while Rex inflated it.  They put the rug on it for want of any other kind of bedding and then moved back to Obi-Wan.

Carefully sliding his hands under the General's shoulders and knees, Rex gently lifted him.  He felt too light to Rex.  He remembered Obi-Wan as being solid and compact the few times Rex had had occasion to help him out in the Clone Wars.  He felt less substantial now, and Rex tightened his arms around him protectively.

Hovering nearby, Kanan had the IV stand and tubes.  He kept close so the line was not jostled or pulled out of Obi-Wan.  They shuffled awkwardly towards the bed and carefully settled the General in the middle of it.

They wrapped him in his thin blanket and cloak.  Rex insisted they take a moment to eat and refresh themselves before they joined the General.  Neither had much appetite but they each wolfed down a protein bar before settling on the bed.

Rex lay down first and Kanan carefully settled Obi-Wan on his side so that he could use Rex's shoulder as a pillow and his arm lay across Rex's chest.  It was the arm attached to the IV, and this way Rex could keep the line from getting tangled.

Wrapping around him from behind, Kanan slid his arm under Obi-Wan's to further make sure it was immobilized.

Through all of this manhandling, Obi-Wan didn't react.  Rex felt his fear growing.  Letting his hand gently rub Obi-Wan's upper arm, Rex didn't sleep a wink the whole night.

 

*****

 

With the morning sun, the chill of night was quick to dissipate.  Kanan and Rex left the General on the mattress where he could get a breeze and so as not to disturb him. 

In daylight, it was easier to see everything in Obi-Wan's little house but it didn't change Rex's assessment that the stove and generator were quite broken.  Rex rifled through the few cupboards and drawers but there was very little that Obi-Wan owned.  He had a workbench downstairs where he clearly crafted stuff, but nothing there would work to fix the generator.  Rex couldn't even find fuel for a fire.

"We should've brought blankets," Rex groused.  "You'd think your Force would've given you a heads up about this.  We had everything we needed back on the ship."

"You could go back to the spaceport and get supplies," Kanan said, tone neutral.

Rex could read his unease.  Obi-Wan's health had taken a turn for the worse.  He was beginning to murmur unhappily in his sleep.  Kanan knelt beside him, hand on his forehead, and tried to use the Force to soothe him.

Rex watched it feeling useless.  "By the time I got there and returned, it might not matter."  He hoped it was just because Obi-Wan would be better by then but the fear that he would be gone and miss the last few days of his General's life was a real feeling.

Kanan merely nodded, so he probably understood.

As the day progressed, the dwelling began to heat up uncomfortably.  Rex was miffed to see that the cooling system in the ceiling was also off-line without the generator.  Kanan and Rex traded shifts of bathing Obi-Wan's forehead with water to help keep him cool.

It all felt surreal to Rex.  He gently stroked his General's hair, still not entirely believing that this was real.  Obi-Wan leaned into the touch, and Rex's heart felt like it would burst in his chest.

If only Obi-Wan would wake up.  If only Rex knew for certain his General would be okay.  Then he could enjoy being so close to him.

Right now, it felt like he was breathing underwater.

By nightfall, the medicine seemed to be helping but Obi-Wan only settled into a quiet sleep; he did not wake.

Rex tried to keep his concern to himself so as not to worry Kanan.  He was reasonably sure Kanan was doing the same thing for him.

Settling back down onto the bed, Rex reflected that they were quite a pair.  "You should get some sleep." He knew Kanan hadn't been able to sleep any better than he had.

"So should you," was the predictable response, and Rex laughed softly.

"Yeah, I guess."

With his General curled up beside him radiating heat, Rex didn't hold out much hope that tonight would be a restful night.

 

*****

 

A soft murmur drew Rex's attention from watching the shadows change as the sun rose.  Looking past Obi-Wan, Rex saw that Kanan actually had managed to fall asleep.  He seemed quite dead to the world, unlike Obi-Wan who shifted between them.

"General?" Rex whispered, not wanting to wake Kanan or startle Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan was frowning, turning his head away from the sunbeams peaking in through the windows.  Gently, Rex stroked the hair near Obi-Wan's temples.  "General?  Are you awake?"

That earned him a promising groan, and Rex carefully shifted over so he was facing Obi-Wan but didn't disturb the IV.  "Come on, sir.  Let me know you're alright."

Still gently touching Obi-Wan's face in what he hoped was a soothing manner, Rex coaxed him to open his eyes.

Obi-Wan squinted, looking confused.  "Rex?"

His voice was a rasp but it was so wonderful to hear that Rex smiled widely in relief.  "Yeah, it's me.  You had us worried, sir."

Frowning, it seemed Obi-Wan was struggling to pull his sluggish thoughts into order.  He blinked blankly at Rex a few times before he seemed to notice their situation.  He glanced behind him but Kanan's face was smooshed into Obi-Wan's back so it was unlikely Obi-Wan could see him.

"Am I dreaming?" His voice remained rough, and he still looked adorably confused.

Rex let out a humorless laugh.  "No, sir.  We're very real, and you've been quite sick."

"What . . ." Obi-Wan coughed, his voice sounding raw.

"Here, sir.  Don't move," Rex said, shifting again so he could sit up and grab the glass of water Kanan had poured before they'd turned in last night.  Rex was careful of the IV line as he shifted about.

Trying not to disturb Kanan, Rex moved Obi-Wan as little as possible as he helped support his head so Obi-Wan could sip from the glass.  It might be the water or remaining awake, but Obi-Wan looked more alert when the cup was emptied.

"Would you like more?" Rex asked.

Already shivering just from having Rex shift away that little bit, Obi-Wan shook his head.  He was mindful of his own IV as Rex resumed his former position.

"Why are we on the floor?" Obi-Wan asked.  His eyelids were barely open and he looked exhausted.

"We needed to keep you warm.  Your generator's busted, sir.  The stove too," Rex said, again reaching out to caress his thumb along Obi-Wan's cheek.

"Oh.  Yes, I was making dinner, wasn't I?  I forgot the stove can't be on at the same time as the fan or it will cause a short.  I'm usually good about remembering that."

Rex smiled softly, though Obi-Wan couldn't see it.  "You were quite sick, sir.  I think it's an understandable mistake.  We weren't anticipating it though, and there weren't any parts to fix it or blankets to wrap you in so we had to improvise."

Frowning deeper, Obi-Wan squinted at Rex again.  It seemed he was having trouble putting Rex into focus.  "Yes, I gave my spare blankets to a refugee family.  I was going to get a replacement but . . ."

It seemed like too much effort to complete that sentence.  Rex smiled fondly, not at all surprised that Obi-Wan's generosity would get him into trouble.

"You look tired, sir.  I'm not sure you're out of the woods yet.  Go to sleep.  Kanan and I will look after you.  You're safe, sir."

Rex let his voice soften and take on a rhythmic cadence in the hopes of luring the General back to sleep.  Now that Rex had spoken to him, he felt immeasurably better about his condition.  Obi-Wan's head was still radiating heat but it didn't seem quite so severe.  Kanan's medicine was doing the trick.

Obi-Wan murmured something.  If it was meant to be a response, Rex couldn't make it out.  He doubted Obi-Wan would even remember this conversation so he didn't try to get the General to repeat himself.  Instead, he focused on gently rubbing soothing circles into Obi-Wan's temples and helping him back to sleep.

 

*****

 

Kanan was annoyed to have missed when Obi-Wan woke up but he did not have too long to wait for his own chance to talk to him.  It was late afternoon when Obi-Wan again opened his eyes.

"Hey, you're looking better," Rex said, kneeling beside the bed.

Touching his head, Obi-Wan replied, "Mm, I feel a little better but that's not saying much."

"Perhaps some water would help, Master." Kanan kept his voice soft and offered Obi-Wan a glass.  Helping him sit up, Rex let Obi-Wan lean against him as he drank.

"Better?" Kanan asked when he took it back.  When Obi-Wan nodded, Kanan said, "Do you think you could keep some soup down?  We have self-heating soup packets."

"I suppose with the stove out that will have to do." Obi-Wan sounded stronger already.

Kanan looked happy to have something to do and went to the wall to grab the soup.

Rex stayed put, simply enjoying having his General near.  Twisting his head so he could make eye contact, Obi-Wan frowned at Rex.  "I'm surprised to see you two here."

His tone was quietly wary, and it sobered Rex immediately.  Shifting so Obi-Wan could see, he touched his head and ran his fingers over his scar.  "You don't have to worry, sir.  I had the chip removed after Fives died.  I would never hurt you."

His answer seemed to surprise Obi-Wan, who then looked chagrined.  "I know that, Rex.  I was just wondering how you could have found me."

He looked troubled, and Rex supposed that was a valid concern.  This little house was in the middle of nowhere on a backwards planet.  It looked like Obi-Wan had gone to a great deal of trouble to hide himself.  Even if Kanan and Rex meant him no harm, the fact that they could find him was alarming.

Rex looked to Kanan, who had paused in preparing the soup when he heard the conversation.  He opened his mouth to speak but before he could explain, another voice spoke.

" _I sent for them_." The voice was rich and deep, and so unexpected that Rex actually flinched.

"Master?" Obi-Wan's tone was surprised but not, Rex thought, as much as he would be if a disembodied voice speaking to him was a completely new experience.

"That's the voice I heard!" Kanan said.  "The one who called to me."

Shifting forward slightly, Obi-Wan again said, "Master?"

" _You were in danger, my Padawan.  Rex and Kanan were willing to help so I showed them the way.  Be at ease._ " The voice was soothing, but it was very disconcerting to Rex.  There was something more to it that made it difficult to just dismiss the voice as someone speaking over a comlink.

Indeed, Rex was close enough to see the way Obi-Wan's hair moved as if some unseen presence ran fingers through it.

"'Master'?" Kanan said.  "That's your Master?  I don't understand."

The disembodied voice said nothing, and Rex wasn't sure if it was still there or not.  Obi-Wan took a moment to gather his thoughts before turning to Kanan.  "My Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, discovered the secret to preserve his consciousness in the Force after death.  He has kept me company all these years."

Obi-Wan glanced at Rex, which Rex took to mean this wasn't exactly knowledge for the non-Jedi.  He wouldn't breathe a word of it if that was what his Jedi wanted.  He was just relieved that Obi-Wan wasn't completely isolated.  He didn't think a voice was sufficient company but it was better than nothing.

"It's possible to live after death?" Kanan said.  "I've never heard of that.  Was it something the Council knew?"

Likely sensing the real question, Obi-Wan gave Kanan a sympathetic look.  "My Master is the only Jedi who knows it.  I'm sorry.  The others are quite gone."

"Oh."

Kanan's shoulders slumped and he turned back to the soup he was making.  Rex's heart went out to him, and he was torn between wanting to hold Obi-Wan and comfort Kanan.

Obi-Wan shifted in his hold, looking unsettled.  "I'm feeling better now.  I can manage on my own.  I'm not sure what my Master said to drag you all the way here but you needn't stay."

Rex rolled his eyes.  "You're too weak to hold a cup on your own.  We're not going anywhere, sir."

"I am not that bad off-" Obi-Wan began.

"Please, Master." Kanan came to kneel beside the mattress, holding out a cup of soup.  "We want to help.  Let us."

His tone was quiet, and Rex wasn't at all surprised that Obi-Wan subsided.  "Very well."

He sounded flustered.  Rex thought about him all alone on this planet, and could well imagine it had been a long time since he'd entertained anyone, let alone people who cared about him.

Rex's heart hurt in his chest and he tightened his hold around Obi-Wan's middle.  With his free hand, he helped support the cup as Obi-Wan slowly drank his soup.

Kanan dropped his head to let it rest on his Master's knee.  Obi-Wan hesitated before letting his hand gently stroke Kanan's hair.

Rex let the quiet linger, knowing both Jedi needed it.

 

*****

 

For two days, Obi-Wan slept more than he was awake but he was clearly doing better.  Rex couldn't rationalize remaining any longer.

"We're running out of rations and the generator needs to be fixed soon," Kanan said.  Rex hated it but he knew Kanan was right.  He also knew he had to be the one to go.  The Jedi needed some time to talk about Jedi-stuff, and Kanan was in a better position to anticipate danger and protect Obi-Wan than Rex was.

"I could bring the ship here," Rex said.  He turned to his General. "Is there somewhere I can park it?"

Obi-Wan was shaking his head.  "That's a bad idea.  A ship will attract Sand People here.  I wouldn't risk it."

Rex made a face, since that would double the length of his time away.  It couldn't be helped.  Obi-Wan needed a real blanket and a stove to heat his food.  There was no time to waste.

Still, Rex lingered outside.  "I'll take good care of him," Kanan said softly.

"I know you will.  I just . . ."

"I know."  Kanan reached out to grasp Rex's arm.  Rex wanted to pull him in for a kiss but he wasn't sure if that was where they stood now.  He understood what Kanan had meant earlier.  Rex intended to stay here with his General.  He loved Kanan but Kanan had his family with the Ghost.  Rex wouldn't fault him for going back.

He wanted him to stay though, and he knew that was selfish.  So, he merely returned the parting gesture before turning to the bike and taking off back to the spaceport.

It was a long three days with nothing but his thoughts and worries to occupy him.  Rex sat in the cave he and Kanan had shared on their way here and looked out onto the quiet landscape.  The world seemed absolutely empty in that moment.  He knew there was abundant life but right then it seemed so quiet and lonely.

Rex thought about Obi-Wan living in this place, and his heart hurt.  He swore to himself that he wouldn't let that continue.  He was going to remain by his General's side no matter what.  It was where he belonged.

When Rex finally made it back to the spaceport, he was tempted to just grab some blankets, a generator, and some food before rushing back to Obi-Wan.  He forced himself to slow down though.  Rushing had been the reason they'd been unprepared the first time.

Rex traded the bike for a sturdier speeder that could haul more weight and could handled a storm.  He waited until the local vendors were open so he could find homemade blankets that were thick and warm and would add some color to Obi-Wan's home.

He bought a new generator at an inflated price because he wanted to make sure Obi-Wan didn't have the same issue he was having now.  Rex also grabbed wiring and the means to fix the old generator so Obi-Wan had a backup.

After checking that the ship hadn't been bothered and was paid up for the month, he finally headed back to his Jedi.

 

*****

 

"I don't think it will fit."

"It will fit if you move your bloody head." Rex huffed as he held the generator and waited for Kanan to get through the trap door.

"It's not my head that's in the way.  I thought you said you lost a few pounds," Kanan said.

"I did!"

Bickering as they went, the two of them managed to wrangle the new generator down into Obi-Wan's cellar.  While Rex worked on setting it up, Kanan used the Force to pull out the bad wiring and float the new wiring back into place without ripping out the walls.  The generator worked beautifully but neither Kanan nor Rex were electricians so it took a few tries to get the hook up to the cooling system and stove working.

As Rex held up the outer casement to the cooling system, he complained, "No, please take your time.  It's not like this is heavy or anything."

Kanan rolled his eyes.  "It's not like this is delicate work or anything," he shot back.

"We should've traded places," Rex grumbled.

"I am blind and I can guarantee I'm doing a better job than you would," Kanan said.

Even as Rex retorted, the wires that Kanan was currently not working with floated up and into place on their own.  Both Rex and Kanan turned to Obi-Wan at the same time.

"Hey, you're not supposed to help," Kanan said.

Obi-Wan held his hands up, looking endlessly amused at them.  "I didn't lift a finger."

Both Kanan and Rex rolled their eyes but the job was finished quickly after that.  Holding his breath, Rex flipped the switch.  The cooling unit took a moment before they could hear the tell-tail sounds of a motor running.  It was only a few minutes after that that the first puffs of cool air began wafting down into the room.

"Hey, it looks like it's working." Rex didn't bother to hide the note of accomplishment he felt.  He hated mechanical work, especially the finicky stuff that happened in civilian life, but he was always pleased when he managed to fix things anyway.

"Excellent job," Obi-Wan said.  "After all that hard work, I think you've earned your dinner."

Rex snorted, moving to sit beside his General on the couch that usually served as Obi-Wan's bed.  Despite his promise not to exert himself, Rex wasn't at all surprised to see Obi-Wan had made tea while they'd been working and had brought out a box of field rations.

"We can have a real meal tomorrow and test out the stove," Kanan noted.

"I would like that.  I thought I gave up these after the war," Obi-Wan said, although that didn't seem to stop him from partaking in his share of the meal.

It reminded Rex of the good parts of the war when he and his Generals had a few moments to themselves around a campfire on some remote world.  The Jedi would tease him, the Commander, and each other, and Rex felt like part of the family.

It was a memory that he used to shy away from because of the hurt it caused him.  He still missed Commander Tano and General Skywalker but it was easier now that he had General Kenobi back.

"I noticed your workbench downstairs," Kanan said as he sipped his tea.  "Are you making toy ships?  Who are those for?"

It seemed like an innocent enough question but for some reason it made Obi-Wan cagey.  "Oh, no one in particular.  It's just nice to have such things on hand for the children."

"What children?" Rex asked.

"Oh, you know.  Any that cross my path." Obi-Wan made a dismissive gesture, and looked very ill at ease.

His lying was a bit rusty, Rex could see.

" _The toys are for Luke_."

Again, Qui-Gon's voice made Rex jump and he splashed tea onto his thigh in surprise.

"Master!" Obi-Wan hissed, sounding faintly aghast.

"Who is Luke?" Kanan asked.  He seemed pretty at ease with their ghostly visitor, and Rex wondered if Qui-Gon had visited while Rex had been gone.

" _Luke is Anakin Skywalker's son,_ " Qui-Gon said calmly.

Rex choked on his tea.

Obi-Wan's unease ratcheted up to alarm.  "Master!  What are you doing?  No one can know-"

" _Rex and Kanan are not just anyone.  You can trust them_."

Obi-Wan still looked agitated, even as he threw an apologetic look their way.  "Of course I trust them but that's not he point.  Luke's only real safety is that no one knows he's here.  One small slip and-"

" _That won't happen.  Rex and Kanan will not have a chance to reveal the secret because they are not going anywhere.  They are staying with you._ "

Qui-Gon said it with a calm matter-of-factness that made Rex suspect the ghost could read his very soul.  Rex was still reeling from the revelation that General Skywalker had a son, but he pulled his mind back to the present when he saw his General's expression.

Obi-Wan looked surprised as he darted his gaze between the two of them.  "Master, you cannot just assume-"

"He's not," Kanan said.  "He knew before he even called us that we wouldn't leave.  And we're not.  We _are_ staying."

"I can't allow that," Obi-Wan said, a thread of steel entering his tone.

Rex knew that tone but it didn't deter him.  "You can keep me from staying with you, of course, but you cannot stop me from staying nearby.  If I have to, I will build a house on the other side of the gorge and watch over you from afar but I will not be taken from you again."

"Rex-" Obi-Wan sounded anguished.

Reaching out, Rex gently cupped Obi-Wan's cheek and turned it so they were looking at each other.  "Please.  Don't send me away.  There hasn't been a day that's passed where I haven't missed you.  I know we never said anything, but you must have known how I felt about you.  I loved you then, and I love you now.  I can't just walk away."

"Rex, what you loved, I'm not that person any more," Obi-Wan said.

Rex shrugged.  "I'm not the same person you knew either.  I still stand by what I said.  I'm not going."

Obi-Wan studied Rex for a long moment.  Apparently determining he would get nowhere there, he turned to Kanan.  "And you?  After everything that has happened with you and the Rebellion, I can't believe you would stay out of anything but misplaced duty.  There's no need for that."

Kanan was quiet for a moment.  Eventually he took off his mask and used the Force to call his satchel to him.

Rex sucked in a breath when he saw what Kanan brought out, and Obi-Wan's gaze darted to him in concern when he heard it.

"I think, Master, that if I am to make you accept what it is I would say, you must first understand something about me," Kanan said quietly.

He pressed the button, and Master Kenobi's parting remark began to play.  " _This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi.  I regret to report that both our Jedi Order and the Republic have fallen with the Dark Shadow of the Empire rising to take their place_."

Obi-Wan's eyes widened when he saw the message.  So close, Rex could feel how he tensed.

" _This message is a warning and a reminder for any surviving Jedi: Trust in the Force.  Do not return to the Temple.  That time has passed and our future is uncertain.  Avoid Coruscant.  Avoid detection.  Be secret but be strong.  We will each be challenged: our trust, our faith, our friendships. But we must persevere, and in time I believe a new hope will emerge.  May the Force be with you always_."

As soon as the message finished, Kanan put the comm unit away.  He then reached out to take Obi-Wan's hands in his own.  "For so long, this was the only guidance I had.  Every night I would listen to it before I fell asleep.  Some nights, I couldn't settle my mind until I heard your voice."

Obi-Wan was shaking his head.  "If you are basing your decision on a recording-"

"I'm not." Kanan's tone was firm.  "What I wanted you to know was that you've been on my mind all this time.  I would listen to your message all the time, and sometimes I would think about what it must have been like when you made it."

Rex watched Obi-Wan look away, a flash of pain dashing over his features.

"Sometimes I was frustrated, wishing desperately that you'd said more - that you'd left something more concrete about what I should do or where I should turn.  Sometimes I wondered if you even survived or if this message was the last effort of your life.  I wished so desperately to find you so you could tell me what to do.  So I wouldn't be alone."

Kanan's voice hitched and he swallowed thickly.  Moving to rest his forehead on their joined hands, Kanan said, "I've memorized your message.  The cadence, the words, the pauses.  I can still remember every expression you made.  It was the only thing I had left of the Jedi Order.  It was a puzzle I tortured myself with as I tried to make something more out of what you said.  In my darkest moments when it all seemed so futile, I would listen to your message and wonder how you could possibly talk about a new hope emerging when everything had fallen apart."

Lifting his head, Kanan said, "But in the end, I've realized the message you left was exactly what I needed.  I could no longer rely on the Order.  It was comforting to know that I was not completely abandoned - I was not forgotten - but I needed to find my own path if I was going to survive in this darkened Age.  What I wanted wasn't what I needed, and I have come to appreciate the difference.  Your faith on the darkest day of our Order has helped light my path when I have strayed."

"Kanan . . ." Obi-Wan appeared not to know what to say.

Kanan shook his head.  "I accepted that there were lessons I needed to learn on my own but I never stopped wishing for your presence in my life.  I stopped wanting you to tell me what to do, but I still wished to have you experience what I was going through with me.  That was even more true when I found the Rebellion and no longer lived in fear.  For every victory we achieved, I wanted you by my side to see it.  That desire has only become stronger as I have progressed further along my journey in the Force, and I am now sure that if I am to continue to grow, it must be at your side."

Looking uncertain, Obi-Wan did not say anything for a long time.  Kanan didn't seem to expect anything.  He again rested his forehead against their joined hands and waited.

Rex waited too.  He always felt out of his depth when it came to Jedi business but he was ready to offer whatever support was needed.

"I am not sure what you think I could teach you.  You have done a wonderful job on your own.  You don't need me," Obi-Wan finally said.

Sitting back on his heels, Kanan did not look disappointed.  Indeed, he looked like he expected this answer.  "I disagree.  I feel strongly that the next step of my journey is with you."

"You wish to learn Qui-Gon's mastery over death?" Obi-Wan asked.

"If you deem that necessary but that wasn't what I had in mind."

Obi-Wan frowned.  "Then what?"

Kanan kissed Obi-Wan's hands and then reached up to cup his cheek as Rex had done.  Wary, Obi-Wan allowed the touch and Kanan waited until he settled into it before lifting himself just enough to brush a kiss against his Master's lips.

"I want you to teach me how to have an attachment and let go at the same time," Kanan said.

Rex had the honor of watching Obi-Wan at a loss for words.  "You can't be serious."

"I am." Kanan sounded it.  His tone was calm and even.  "I have given it a great deal of thought.  I have wrestled a long time trying to understand if this really is the will of the Force or merely my own desires.  I wanted to be sure of the decision, and I am now.  I see that my wants and my needs have finally aligned."

"Your desires?  _This_ is what you desire?  I can't believe that." Obi-Wan sounded flustered.

By contrast, Kanan appeared completely composed.  "Why?"

"Kanan, you are a young man in your prime.  I am old-"

His words were cut off when Kanan snorted.  "Considering my alternative is Rex, that's not really an argument to sway me."

Obi-Wan looked startled, eyes glancing between them.  He looked a moment away from arguing, and Rex could guess what he would say.  If Kanan and Rex were already together or could be together, then there was no place for Obi-Wan and that would settle matters.

But, looking between them, Obi-Wan appeared to reconsider that argument.  Rex could guess that too.  He must see that Kanan and Rex were united in this endeavor.  It seemed to confuse Obi-Wan but he couldn't deny it.

"Even if this is what you desire," Obi-Wan said slowly, sounding dubious. "I can't believe that there wouldn't be more good you could do with the Rebellion.  I have watched over Luke this long, and he will soon be old enough to embrace his own destiny.  In the meantime, there isn't much for you to do here."

Kanan took a moment to consider that.  "I have found that the Force can make use of me wherever I find myself." He let out a laugh.  "Indeed, sometimes when I really wanted to abandon it all."

Growing sober again, he said, "I have also thought long on the Jedi's role in the galaxy.  I have begun to question if combat is the right way.  I think we relied too much on the lightsaber and not enough on the Force.  I don't think having a Jedi will really help the Rebellion that much in the long run, and I'm not sure it will be good for me to continue down that road."

Obi-Wan sighed.  "Yes.  The Jedi lost their way during the Clone Wars."  Gingerly, he reached out to touch Kanan's cheek.  "Yoda thought as you did.  We met force with force, and played right into the Sith's hands.  We need another way."

"Which is why you are here." There was no hesitation in his voice, and Rex thought that this was something Kanan was intuiting from the Force rather than just guessing about.

Obi-Wan nodded, and the room quieted.

Watching as Kanan leaned into Obi-Wan's touch, Rex enjoyed the moment.  He hadn't thought he'd ever see his General again but now he was sitting beside him with Kanan appearing to be on the exact same page as Rex.

But, Rex realized, there was one thing that was still uncertain.

"General?" He waited for Obi-Wan to look at him.  "You know what we want, but what about you?  What do you want?"

Looking hesitant, Obi-Wan took a moment before he replied.  "I admit it would be nice to have some company.  But for the rest . . . I'm not sure."

"You don't need to be sure about that right now," Kanan said.  "Let us stay and we'll see how things go."

Obi-Wan did not look completely assured, and he turned to Rex.

Smiling, Rex reached out and let his fingers slide over Obi-Wan's cheek. "I just want to be near you."

His heart tripped over itself when Obi-Wan closed his eyes and leaned into his hand.  The expression on his face made Rex ache, wondering how long it had been since he had someone touch him like this.

Obi-Wan sighed.  "Very well.  You two can stay."

"You won't regret it, Master," Kanan said.

"I already do." Obi-Wan's tone made a lie of that statement.

Feeling bold, Rex slid his hand behind Obi-Wan's neck and gently urged him forward.  There was a reassuring lack of resistance as Obi-Wan leaned into the kiss.  It was everything Rex had always imagined, made better for the long wait.

When it ended, Rex leaned his forehead against Obi-Wan's and just cherished being this close to him.  Kanan had laid his head on his Master's knee.  Blindly, Rex rested a hand on his head, completing the circle.

Obi-Wan might not be certain, but Rex was.  Everything would work out wonderfully.  He just knew it.

 

The End


End file.
